This final installment of “Finishing the Hat” is personal. I met Rachel Dean a few years ago when we wrote our first song together and have been enamored of her ever since. This series has been a joy in my life, and being able to give NMT readers a glimpse into the processes of a variety of artists – AND NOW that of Ms. Dean – is a proud moment for me. Our first musical together, THE ANXIETY PROJECT, has some exciting developments coming in 2016, but for now, I wanted to share the work of Rachel Dean as it pertains to this series: as a lyricist. Here, Rachel talks about “Monsters In My Closet.”

THE SET-UP: A stand-alone song about dealing with the past while moving toward the future.

THE LYRIC: 

WHO IS SHE? LOOKING BACK
ALL I SEE ARE THE THINGS I LACK
I CAN'T STAY IN MY MIND
BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'LL LEAVE BEHIND

I'M GOING INTO THE GREAT UNKNOWN
I KNOW IT'S GOOD TO BE LEAVING HOME
'CAUSE I DON'T WANNA STAY HERE IN PARK
I KNOW IT'S GOOD TO BE ON YOUR OWN
AND I DON'T MIND BEING ALL ALONE
BUT I'M SO TERRIFIED OF THE DARK
AND THE REST IS A QUESTION MARK

WATCH THE YEARS PASSING BY
SLOWING DOWN WHEN WE LAUGH OR CRY
AS WE FLY, WE CAN'T SEE
WHEN WE LAND, WILL WE BE TRAPPED OR FREE?

I'M GOING INTO THE GREAT UNKNOWN
I KNOW IT'S GOOD TO BE LEAVING HOME
'CAUSE I DON'T WANNA STAY HERE IN PARK
I KNOW IT'S GOOD TO BE ON YOUR OWN
AND I DON'T MIND BEING ALL ALONE
BUT I'M SO TERRIFIED OF THE DARK
AND THE REST IS A QUESTION MARK

WHERE'S THE MAP THAT TELLS ME WHERE TO BE?
AM I RUNNING JUST SO I WON'T SEE
THE MONSTERS IN MY CLOSET WHO ARE WAITING THERE FOR ME?

I'M GOING INTO THE GREAT UNKNOWN
I KNOW IT'S GOOD TO BE LEAVING HOME
'CAUSE I DON'T WANNA STAY HERE IN PARK
I KNOW IT'S GOOD TO BE ON YOUR OWN
AND I DON'T MIND BEING ALL ALONE
BUT I'M SO TERRIFIED OF THE DARK
AND THE REST IS A QUESTION MARK

THE BREAKDOWN:

DB: Tell me a little about the creation of the lyric generally.

RD: I wrote this lyric a little less than a year ago, when college graduation was looming and I had bought a one-way ticket to New York. I was thinking about how quickly time passes and how little we can know about the future and how it will change us. My peers and I were feeling a mixture of excitement and apprehension as we prepared to go our separate ways and forge our own paths. I wrote the song for our songwriting ensemble to perform at our last concert as a sort of bittersweet send-off to the seniors in the ensemble.

DB: Was there a rhythm pattern you were looking to achieve in this song? What was the goal of the flow of the text?

RD: I was aiming to write a narrow lyric (which takes up less horizontal space on the page; something more concise), so that informed the flow of the lyric. I wasn't looking for a particular rhythmic pattern, especially since I knew I would be setting my own text and could take some liberties.

DB: Thematically, where does the lyric reach its "moment" – meaning, is there a particular line that serves as the heartbeat of the song?

RD: I think the real hook of the lyric is the last two lines of the chorus: "…I'm so terrified of the dark/And the rest is a question mark." It's a couplet that underwent several revisions, under the guidance of professors and friends. I was aiming for a line that represented not merely fear, but more of an acknowledgment of personal uncertainty and the fact that everyone has some apprehension of the future at some point in their lives.

DB: If you had the chance to re-write this lyric knowing what you know now, what, if anything, would you do differently?

RD: If given a chance to rewrite, I think I would clarify some of the lines in the verses that perhaps wax more poetic than transparent. Just because I knew what I meant doesn't mean it's clear to everyone in the audience. Also, using "park" as a rhyme has always bothered me, but I haven't thought of a solution to fix it yet! If anyone has ideas, I'm open to them

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