This hilarious patter song about a young man lamenting that he keeps dating women who are “savin' it for Jesus” has been performed by Andrew Kober, Stephen C. Anthony, Adam Kantor, and more Music updated as of November 1, 2016.Stephen C. Anthony at 54 Below on April 1, 2014 Sam Carner at Sweet Caroline's in NYC on 8/18/2010There are notes....

In this hilariously irreverent Christmas song, a cozy family holiday gathering takes a surprising and psychedelic turn. Choose your transposition: Key of G: (B2 - G4) (tenor/baritone) (Primary Key) Key of E: (G#3 - E5) (soprano) Key of D: (F#3 - D5) (alto) Key of G: Chris Critelli at Lincoln Center's Bruno Walter Auditorium on 12/14/2013Key of E Emily Clark...

Nicole Johndrow at Don't Tell Mama's on 1/03/2011

88 words in only 8 measures. Take that, Telsey! Charlotte Maltby at Drom on 7/25/2014 This song actually is just 8 measures, though we did manage to fit 87 words into it, plus a legit note and a belt note.

Ethan Haberfield at The Laurie Beechman Theater on 6/23/2013 The alto key is intended for women or unchanged men's voices. Alternate lyrics included for women. Further transposition available with purchase by emailing me through my website. Enjoy!

From The View From Here. Shonn Wiley, David Epstein at 45th St Theater, NYCArchived from the NYMF production of The View From HereThis one can pretty much never be too fast.

From "Goldrich and Heisler - Songbook, Volume 1"

A humorous patter song for a Male actor. Fun, nervous energy and delightful lyrics. A comedic romp for a talented performer.

From LINES: A Song Cycle. Jennifer Blood at NYCwritten as a standalone but later fit into LINES because it really works there. Lyric discrepancy as a result, but das coo. Also, piano arrangement on sheet is slightly different. Less busy.